I am getting 80 days older since I haven’t heard your voice.
80 nights passed in which you didn’t let me sleep. I lived 80 dreams where I felt you look at me.
80 mornings when the sun did not have the power to shine… for me
9000 thoughts crossed my mind that struggled and tried to explain me where I was wrong.
There are 200 miles that keep me away from you.
There are 100 phones calls which I tried to tell you that I love you.
I thought I could not live without you. I thought I will not breathe freely …
Strange is that now I began to feel very good.
Your power has dropped dramatically. Either you lost the weapon that threatens me, or you forgot to charge it and I saw this … I just seized the moment and ran … I ran away from you, I ran away from me, I ran away from us! Do not think I do not have your image in my mind. It is very clear, but it is also poorly painted as a picture that cannot be born without the emotion concerning the person that looks at it. Not bad due painting brushes or oil, but because the painter has not been and will never be able to be an artist.
Do not think you are to blame for anything.
The blame belongs to me, because I thought that whoever paints can give emotion. I thought that any woman can hug a man of a whim only she knew, she could love. I believe that anyone can understand the soul of a man. No, I never thought that as a student fails to pass an examination because he is not prepared, you too were not ready to understand what I had to give you … Anyway, you should not be ashamed, not everybody has the same ability to understand. Someday you’ll grow!
Do not think I forgot you, but I understand that …
And even if I would grow old with another 80 days, your voice still would not caress my hearing
And if 80 nights would pass, you would still look at me, dreaming. At least if it would be your dream …
And if 80 morning would pass the sun would not shine, but now because of the cold season to come.
And if I never let another 9,000 thoughts pierce my being, still I could not know where I’m wrong
And if I go through 200 miles to see you, you would remove from me even more
And if I would still try to call you 100 times, I’d still run into as many refusals. Honestly, I would not know what to tell you ….
What could I offer to you?
Why should I offer something when you do not have the ability to receive? Live your life in the only compromise that you have chosen yourself…