I often hear disappointed partners…
when faced with a crisis in their life, saying: “I do not understand, love should have been enough! It is love that helps you get over the difficulties in a relationship. Why is not enough that I love her? “
In the hard times a relationship advice is that love is the only thing that helps. The shared values that you have with your partner are those that will underpin solutions.
We get over difficulties when we share the same values
We pull together in the same direction, when we support each other’s efforts relying on common values. How many of us think about that when we choose our partner? How many of us know that the person next to us lives in a present moment in which he / she builds and chooses according to values that represent him / her now? In happy cases, emotionally healthy adults who were hardened by the confrontation with the past and failed experiences. Adults that manage to free themselves from old conditionings and rely on conscious and healthy choices today.
You cannot overcome the attraction of the past unless there is a strong attraction to the present
A relationship advice is that this kind of attraction is given by shared common vision and values. Values express the way you think your world should be and how you want it to be. If you have similar values with your partner, you manage to build a foundation for the attraction you feel one for another now. You will lay the basis of mutual respect of you who will weld the relationship for it to remain strong and resilient in difficult times. When you and your partner operate under common values, this gives you energy and courage to go forward and overcome inertia models coming from your past. Common values currently anchors you and gives you a chance to act together toward a common goal.
The love you feel for your partner can both express the highest ideals and deepest wounds
Sometimes your boyfriend / girlfriend can be blamed for the wounds that hurt you, other times he /she can heal it. A love relationship advice is that love can mean many absolutely wonderful things, but alone is not a solution. It is not enough to know him / her. It is not enough to say you love him /her when life’s challenges bring the relationship into a crisis and deadlock, bringing outstanding difficulties from your past. When you tell you love him / her, then you seek together what is valuable to you. What is important and how he / she can support your love now. How you can push forward together as partners on the same project, that of your relationship.
Your shared values will not erase the pain of your past
But will help you along, to make better decisions now and act together in spirit. Love is not enough when you are stuck together but if you feel motivated and valued, communicating with willingness to continuously develop, creates bridges over your painful past. You can find solutions beyond the stiff painful memories, beyond the expectation of being rescued and cared for, beyond the impotence that marked you in the past.
A love relationship can be a healing for the painful past
When you find yourself sharing the same common guidelines. When you’re willing to overcome your limitations and work with yourselves in order to evolve. Then you discover two brave adults, ready to notice the one next to you and to show your partner love.